Why is a question I ask almost daily, why me of all the people in the world, but God told me, that I am not the only one receiving his message there are others, I understand that I am not the brightest bulb in the pack, my grammar is horrible, spelling the same, so why would God choose me? Was it that my parents got a divorce when I was 7, was it that my mother died when I was 9, was it that my father was a bad parent, was it because I turned 45, why didn't I just go out and buy a new car, or was it because I couldn't go out and buy a new car? I go through stages, some times I am overwhelmed with the idea that God would give me a message to be shared, other times, I am angry because all ever wanted to do was be a drag queen, and make people laugh, then there are other times, when I feel that it is a voyage of self discovery, learning more about myself then any thing, the fact that there are spirits that surround us daily to help us. That there is an after life, that I have helped spirits cross over. I go into the super market and look at people and question why not them, they seem to have there wits about them better then me, there educated, there stronger believers, I have only been to church probably 15 times in my whole life, I am gay, what I have been told is that I need to forgive myself of things that I have done in the past, I have tried to forgive myself of those things, but like the Church of Scientology, I do feel that we record these events in our life, and replay them over and over when were under stress.
People can say what they want to say about me, I understand how crazy it sounds that you would talk to God, my own lover won't tell his friends or family of the messages I have received. God tells me that I am to go up to people in the store and tell them that the end is near, we all know what would happen then, I have found this to be a much better resource for I am able to spread his message to millions quickly.
I never could understand that if someone says they spoke to their dead Uncle Charlie, people will hear that and are truly interested, but if you tell them you talk to God, your crazy, even though without God you wouldn't be able to talk to Uncle Charlie, and that God gives his permission for people to talk to the spirits. Through out history men have been praised for talking to God, Mosses, and still others have been persecuted for doing the same. I am not seeking praise, I am seeking attention, but only for Gods message, so I post blogs, and update my website hoping to spread his message of the End is Near. I have said that "Why did I get such a negative message, the End is Near." I was told that it is not a negative message, but a positive message that we will be with our father soon, see that is a part of my problem, it goes to the glass is half full or half empty, I was always the guy who said, I want more water.
Good Night and remember God Loves You.